This weekend begins the quadrennial festival of European football (soccer) as 16-nations battle for the right to hold aloft the European Cup. It all begins at 18:00 on Saturday when hosts Switzerland take on the mighty Czech Republic in what we can only hope will be a close game as this competition will, unfortunately, be like the Boston Red Sox playing their AA team affiliate.

Not to bad mouth the Swiss and Austrians who host this event over the next 23-days and nights, they are just grossly overmatched and are in on a “bye” because they are hosts. Simply, there is not an easy game on this schedule and the killer group of the tournament has to be “C” with Italy, Holland, France and Romania scheduled to battle it out. In the other groups it is relatively clear which two teams will make it to the quarterfinal games (“A” Portugal and the Czech Republic, “B” Germany and Croatia and “D” Greece and Spain) but all four teams in Group C would advance under normal circumstances.

Now that Russia has had Dutchman Guus Hiddink at the helm the last two years (he, the miracle maker bringing Korea to the World Cup final a few years back), Spain or Greece cannot afford an off-day in the tournament. Indeed never underestimate the emotion of the home crowd so I am hedging here and only two teams Turkey and Poland have no chance?!? Awww, the hell with it, just sit back and enjoy the football feast. This is a tournament so small and cozy with only 16-teams that on any given day, a giant can and will fall.

In qualifying, England and Ireland were left at the altar and indeed the British Isles are so completely bereft of teams (add Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales to the non-qualifiers) that a prominent UK sporting goods chain filed for bankruptcy protection this spring in part because of projected lost national kit sales. If your team fails to qualify, you won’t buy their jersey.

But you gotta love the Dutch fans. My wife is Dutch, we lived there for five years and I have become a huge fan of team “Orange.” It is always such a treat to watch the Dutch contingent of fans at major sporting events. You can always spot them at the Olympics because they sit in a huge block of seats and their passion for the national squad is palpable. The Dutch have a huge inferiority complex (well, we’re a tiny nation, others are better prepared, we just want to have fun…) that they lull the competition to complacency because they even get you to think they expect to lose, so it is always with such great unadulterated joy that they celebrate each win. In business as in sport, never bet against a Dutch team.

In Sydney during the 2004 Summer Olympic Games, Dutch swimmers led the way in the pool stealing gold from the Aussie’s own favourite Ian Thorpe. The hockey team (field that is) won gold and they performed well in cycling events so the Dutch celebration tent each evening (where athletes came to celebrate their wins), was the hottest ticket in Sydney, so much so that visitors were forced to present a Dutch passport to prove they were Dutch and allowed in the tent.

Whether it is speed skating, an enormously boring sport where folks go around a 440 meter oval up to 13 times (and we cheer for lap times and a chance to get a world or Olympic record… yawwwnnnn!) or following the cycling Team Rabobank through every one of 21-stages of the Tour de France (which is covered live for 4-6 hours every day in July), Dutch fans are joyously noisy and supportive with cow-bells clanging, full throated songs and horns blowing. They are also exceptionally well behaved and provide the rest of us who deal with hooligan headlines with a sense of “why can’t our fans be this happy?” wonder.

So pardon me as for the next few weeks I don my Oranje shirt, faux orange afro wig and paint my face the red, white and blue stripes of the Dutch flag screaming support for, hop up and down dancing and sing songs such as:

Oranje boven, (Holland above all)
Oranje boven
Ole, ole, ole…

scream: Hup Holland, Hup Holland, Hup Holland!!! Every time they have possession of the ball

and sing a tribute to the tournament’s best goal keeper and a true national treasure, Champion’s League and English Premiereship winning (it could not happen to a nicer guy), Manchester United Goalkeeper, Edwin van der Sar, playing in his last international series (and sung to the tune of “Three cheers for the red, white and blue…” I kid you not…):

“Van de Sar, van de Sar, van de Saaaaarrrr!
Van de Sar, van de Sar, van de Saaaaarrrr!
Van de Sar, van de Sar, van de Saaaaarrrr!
Van de Sar, van de Sar, van de Saaaaarrrr!”

OK, we get zero point for lyrical originality, but you get the drift and after three pints no one cares what or who you sing for anyways.

The problem is I am not sure The Plough and Harrow pub here in Wales will allow me through the door. But hey Wales is not in it and neither is England – ask any Welshman who he supports and the reply never varies… “Wales and whomever England is playing against.” Of course don’t get a Dutchman started about the rivalry with Germany either…

They already think me a bit strange… OK, let’s confirm it… Oranje boven! Ole!

Holland vs. Germany 2004 Classic Betting Telly Advert