by Denis Campbell

This could become a regular feature at this rate. I again swear I did not swallow but this one was too rich to pass. Also below it is the Eternally Damned if you vote for Obama. I swear I could not make this stuff up…

Pamela “Atlas” Geller Oshry is a conservative blogger previously notable only for having vlogged in a bikini, once, and for being totally obsessed with mustachioed former UN ambassador John Bolton. Today, she announced that Barack Hussein Obama is not, as previously reported, the son of Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., but rather the illegitimate son of Malcolm Little, a.k.a. El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz, a.k.a. Malcolm X. Yes, she is serious. Honestly? It is too much work to comb through her insanely long and convoluted post in order to write some sort of summary, so we’ll just post some random excerpt from her fascinating investigation:

Barack Hussein Obama Jr Malcolm X Barack Hussein Obama Sr. Barack Hussein Obama Sr., Tom Mboya, and Philip Ochieng, all share common physical features of the Kenyan Luo tribe: Modest stature under six feet, round faces, small chins, wide set eyes, slanted back foreheads, and retracted hairlines…none of these features are shared by Malcolm X and Barack Hussein Obama Jr.

Makes sense, right?

There are around 5 million more nonsensical words in the post, so we just skipped to the comments. We liked this one:

Yes. You edit at Wikipedia. Spread the word.

And

Beware Obama the AntiChrist
 WorldNetDaily’s Janet Porter made your decision much easier. “To all those who name the name of Christ who plan to willfully disobey Him by voting for Obama, take warning. Not only is our nation in grave danger, according to the Word of God, so are you,” wrote Porter. “Those who think God’s grace gives them license to willfully disobey Him without consequences – think again: Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’ (Matthew 7:21-23)

That seals your eternity, so consider yourself warned!