With a Heavy Heart

First responders to the classroom where children lay dead.

This is The Monday Line
by Denis G. Campbell

All weekend long, I’d look at my three young children and cry.

I would go online and trolls there insult each other and fight over gun rights, the second amendment and all I can try to do is see the faces… then I cry again.

As the shooting began in Newtown, I was picking up my own 10-year-old from Primary school and watching the Reception (Our Kindergarten) and Year One students bound excitedly out of class and into the arms of parents equally excited to see them.

I think of parents who sent off innocent, smiling happy children to school that morning in Newtown, Connecticut never, ever suspecting that that would be the last time they would see them alive.

I try to imagine what if there had been cross words spoken or impatience expressed that morning to compound the guilt? I imagine parents blaming themselves. I feel their enormous, crushing pain and heavy hearts.

Struggling with thoughts… and finding the right words… I cry again.

There are no words. I read updated wire reports and sit here trying to do my job and yet all I can do is try to put a face to each name and imagine what they looked like, these too many names on the printed page.

The Children:

  • Charlotte Bacon, 6
  • Daniel Barden, 7
  • Olivia Engel, 6
  • Josephine Gay, 7
  • Ana M. Marquez-Greene, 6
  • Dylan Hockley, 6
  • Madeleine F. Hsu, 6
  • Catherine V. Hubbard, 6
  • Chase Kowalski, 7
  • Jesse Lewis, 6
  • James Mattioli, 6
  • Grace McDonnell, 7
  • Emilie Parker, 6
  • Jack Pinto, 6
  • Noah Pozner, 6
  • Caroline Previdi, 6
  • Jessica Rekos, 6
  • Aveille Richman, 6
  • Benjamin Wheeler, 6
  • Allison N. Wyatt, 6

The Brave Adults Who Tried to Save Them:

  • Dawn Hocksprung, 47
  • Rachel Davino, 29
  • Anne Marie Murphy, 52
  • Lauren Russeau, 30
  • Mary Sherlach, 56
  • Victoria Soto, 27

Pictures of these children will emerge over the coming days and I will likely cry again.

I then think of the first responders in that carnage filled room with memories they will never be able to erase. I think of Dr. Wayne Carver, the Chief Medical Officer who performed seven autopsies of tiny children with between 3 and 11 gunshot wounds each. Many were shot by rifle at very close range.

When asked by a reporter if the children suffered? The doctor replied, “not for long.”

Again I struggle to see the horror on their faces, no one able to explain why this was happening and cry.

The heart feels so very heavy this sad day for these poor people.

Denis G Campbell View more

Denis G Campbell
Denis G. Campbell is founder and editor of UK Progressive magazine and co-host of The Three Muckrakers podcast. He is the author of 7 books and provides Americas, EU and Middle Eastern commentary to the BBC, itv, Al Jazeera English, CNN, CRI, MSNBC and others. He is CEO of Monknash Media and a principal with B2E Consulting in London. You can follow him on Twitter @UKProgressive and on Facebook.

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